The Juciness of Consent

This series is based on Betty Martins's book, the Art of Giving and Receiving. Its an open offering to non-participants and participants alike.

Most people find the game a little daunting at first. This is because asking for what we want is a growth edge for humanity. For a start it implies actually knowing what we want, then being able to ask for it skillfully, all the while without prejudging what the response will be, and as mature communicators, instead of becoming more demanding upon hearing no, we take the request to someone else. Hows that for a mouthful. That's a bit how the game feels. At first.

Then, as you get into it something interesting happens. We start to unearth our sense of desire.

Heads up for attendees

We also believe that the reason why people don't get this game at first has to do with our relationship with worthiness and developmental mis-messaging that tells us its dangerous to want things from others.

So here is the nervous system heads up: The game can stir up in some people old reflexive patterns stemming from past unmet needs. So, come prepared to be watchful for that.

And, yes, the game can feel a little surgical. It cleaves a normal organic conversation into two complementary binary transactions. However, we are inclined to agree with the author that the exercise has benefits in terms of rekindling desire, as well as fueling a more sophisticated capacity for consent.

So we invite you to attend with the spirit of the scientist. Lets try to take the seemingly pedantic steps at face value, and see what happens.

Practice, practice

Martin tells us that in many ways the most important part of the game is in fact the choosing, not in the playing. It helps to understand this, and so we will allow lots of time for you to design your games. At first that's actually all we do, just reach into our soul and try to figure out what our heart really truly desires from this conversation.

There's some related practices to do with both consent and naming desire. For these we use a ever so slightly edgy sentence stems game.

The most important thing about the game is repetition. Martin says its only after 20 games that most people find it starts to all click. "Oh now i get it". So thanks for your intrepidness and courage to come play the iconic 3 minute game with us.

As always, this is not a seminar, its highly experiential. So, bring along your practice hats. Also, if you know the game, note that in this series there wont be any touch involved :)

How to join the calls

The first session is:

- Tue, 07 Oct 2025, 21:00 - America/Los_Angeles (PST/PDT)

- Wed, 08 Oct 2025, 06:00 - Europe/Berlin (CET/CEST)

- Wed, 08 Oct 2025, 15:00 - Australia/Sydney (AEDT/AEST)

Wed love it if you could, well ahead of time, read the practice guidelines. You'll need a user account , then you can join the calls using the schedule.