Practice Library

This series is based on Martins's book, the Art of Giving and Receiving.

Most people find the game a little daunting at first. This is because asking for what we want is a growth edge for humanity. For a start it implies actually knowing what we want, then being able to ask for it skillfully, all the while without prejudging what the response will be, and as mature communicators, instead of becoming more demanding upon hearing no, we take the request to someone else. Hows that for a mouthful. That's a bit how the game feels. At first.

Then, as you get into it something happens. We start to unearth our sense of desire. This is game is about how we honor both self and other. Desire and consent.

We also believe that the reason why people don't get this game at first has to do with our relationship with worthiness and developmental mis-messaging that tells us its dangerous to want things from others.

So here is the nervous system heads up: The game can trigger in some people old reflexive patterns stemming from past unmet needs. So, come prepared to be watchful for that.

And, yes, the game can feel a little surgical. It cleaves a normal organic conversation into two complementary binary transactions. But we are inclined to agree with the author that the exercise has benefits in terms of rekindling desire, as well as fueling a more sophisticated capacity for consent.

So we invite you to attend with the spirit of the scientist. Lets try to take the seemingly pedantic steps at face value, and see what happens.

Martin tells us that in many ways the most important part of the game is in fact the choosing, not in the playing. It helps to understand this, and so we will allow lots of time for you to design your games. At first that's actually all we do, just reach into our soul and try to figure out what what our heart really desires.

There's some related practices to do with both consent and naming desire. For these we use a slightly edgy sentence stems game.

The most important thing about the game is repetition. Martin says its only after 20 games that most people find it starts to all click. "Oh now i get it". So thanks for your intrepidness and courage to come play the iconic 3 minute game with us.